As systems grow more complex and interconnected, incidents are inevitable—it's not a question of "if" but "when." We need leaders who embrace incidents as learning opportunities and create psychological safety for teams to be vulnerable, ask for help early, and grow from failures. The lessons in this talk—especially around leadership support during crises and building teams with strong character—are essential for creating resilient engineering cultures that can thrive amid inevitable disruptions.

The challenges tend to fall into two buckets: technical blind spots and cultural barriers. On the technical side, past success can create assumptions about future changes, and it's easy to overlook the full scope of what needs testing or planning. On the human side, there's often reluctance to ask for help early, particularly among experienced engineers who feel pressure to have all the answers. Teams also struggle with the gap between having plans on paper versus actually practicing them under realistic conditions. These challenges are universal across the industry, which is why sharing stories about them matters.

Leaders commit to showing up supportively during incidents. They lean into being their team's cheerleader and defender, not their interrogator. When an incident happens, a leader should strive to remove external pressures and trust that their team will figure it out. My favorite saying is “People don't remember what you did, they remember how you made them feel.” The way leaders show up during a crisis shapes an engineering culture. Engineers will watch how they react, and early career engineers especially need to see that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness. Leaders’ composure and trust during incidents builds psychological safety that pays dividends long after the incident is resolved.